Wednesday, June 19, 2013

How to LOVE running.

Let me tell you two stories: one funny-ish and one not so funny...

After high school, I moved to Hawaii. You would think in the land of Bikinis I would pay attention to my figure.....uh, no. I was small but a little pudgy. Never exercised a day in my life and to me a diet meant getting a side salad with my large Whopper meal (Drench the salad in ranch and then only eat half....)
I was living with my sister and her husband. Feeling like a busted can of biscuits, I asked my brother-in-law for some good ol' bootcamp work outs. In my head, I was expecting like pshh...20 situps, A pushup and maybe a nice fast pace walk around the neighborhood. That sounded about right..
Him: "Yeah right. I'm not wasting my time on that garbage. Get your sisters' bike and we'll head to the top of the hill. There's a trail we can take from there and we'll assess where your fitness level is to modify workouts."
Me: "okey dokey!"

10 minutes later....HALF WAY UP A SLIGHT HILL, 'mind you, this isn't the starting point of our bike ride, we're on the way there..

Me: *feeling lightheaded* "Hey dude, we have to stop."  *Seeing spots*
Him: "For what?"
Me: "I think I'm going to faint..." *seeing tunnel vision*
Him: *Cackling laughing*
Me: *sitting on the floor, head between my legs* screw this...*fetal position*

so, yeah, over the course of three years, my fitness level didn't improve much from there. I had met someone gotten married and only 2 short years later, I was getting a divorce.
It was the most brutal thing I've had to experience in my adult life. Mentally, physically and financially, it was detrimental to my whole life. I joined the Air Force just to be able to be independent and LITERALLY get away from it all.

Drowning in debt, my measly first paycheck only covered my bills which meant for YEARS (yes, plural) I would have something around $20 two days after payday and live off my credit card (vicious cycle).
I couldn't hang out with anyone because I couldn't afford it. I hated everything about my existence. Depressed and tired of crying at random and even more so, seeing my body just deteriorate, I decided to take my anger out on myself....doing the only excruciating thing I could think of...running.

Here is how I feel in love with my run.

1) I started to run when I really want to cry.
"Netflix only has two season's of Mad Men...BRB."
Via Hyberbole and a half

Crying is pointless. I got nothing accomplished except feeling like an even bigger loser. I really just needed to release everything, mind, body and soul. Next time you feel like crying, put on some running gear and head out the door. Sometimes, I couldn't help but cry on my run. It was the only time I allowed myself to cry! If I felt my eyes filling up, I was tying my shoes on in a panic to make sure I was on the road before the first tear fell. It felt so good to just release sweat and tears all at the same time. It's the most therapeutic experience I've ever had. Afterwards, I would take a cold shower and I felt light as a feather. Next time you just can't hold back tears, head for a run. It's almost like a stop watch for misery, you give yourself until the end of the run to wallow and get over it...unlike binging on comfort foods. That can last hours and then not only are you sad but you're bloated. awesome.

2) Running Furious is the best thing ever.

Seriously, all of my running personal records have been broken while running furious. From being angry at my failed marriage or people at work pissing me off, I couldn't wait to put on my running shoes and take off sprinting. In my head, I wasn't sprinting at all. I was beating the ever-living-shit out of someone. Now, I've NEVER put my hands on anyone, but in my fantasy, I was mother-effing Jean St. Pierre. People were getting round house kicks straight to their dome piece! Every punch thrown landing right square in their rachet-ass mouf! I would think of the most vile thing I could think of and say it to them RIGHT IN THEIR IMAGINARY FACE! That'll show them. By the time I was done with my 3 hour sprint, I felt pretty good kicking all that ass, including my own. Plus, I imagine that's how it feels like getting into a scuffle. *Bonus: No busted face or getting hauled away to jail!

3) I didn't have the money to go out so I went to da club in my head.

New Years '11

My wonderful dorm friends would let me download their music. So whenever they headed out to party their asses off, I would go on a run with the latest dance music. I am a horrible dancer...I assume. I don't dance. Coordination game is way off (just ask my eyeliner). But not in my head, oh no...I was J.Lo in the days she was making all those Ja Rule collaborations...Don't even Ack like you don't know what I'm talking about!...RECOGNIZE(...that it was the only good part of her career... so yeah, please recognize that.) This is great because you don't have to embarrass yourself in public as I did those nights I drank too much and forgot that I wasn't running but actually dancing...oh, God. I wanna go on a run just thinking about it (applies to reason 1).

4) To celebrate an achievement
My brother-in-law and I finishing a marathon 3 years after the bike incident...

Again, too broke to celebrate, I hit the road to release my excitement squeals while running (in the middle of a heavily wooded trail! haha) These runs were so much fun. You ever see someone running, not unlike a Gazelle, and they just look like they're just having the best time of their lives and you're all "Go swallow a knife, I hate you." ? Yeah, celebration run. You need to try it. It's exhilarating! Also, I really recommend this as a habit-forming solution to being excited about running. I say it's my Pavlov experiment, instead of begrudgingly putting on your shoes and thinking about how much this run is going to suck, being in a great mood or knowing all your bad juju will be gone when the run is over is definitely a (cheap) incentive to get your happy ass out on that road, time and time again!

So, after running through every problem, achievement, emotion and then coming out with an athletic body...let me tell you, I LOVE running. I sincerely hope you go out there, Drop kick someone, cry it out, hit up da club and celebrate your awesomeness (all in your head) and most of all, fall in love with running.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Where the hell am I?!

AHHHHHHHHH!! I"M A MOOOOONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Arrested Development)

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post this or not but I didn't want to lie about it...maybe because I'm not ashamed? Maybe because someone wanted to know what I've been up to. Either way, I hope this answers some questions. I'll post more post op vids once I get some energy...
Hope all is well!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Things no one will tell a fat girl....

This isn't about health or fitness but about self-confidence which has everything to do with both. It's where it needs to start, at least. I ran across this article and I absolutely loved it. It's awkward posting it on my blog but I really, really wanted to shed light some light on it because it applies to EVERYONE.

Without further delay, please, please, please read this article by Jes the Militant Baker....

Monday, May 27, 2013

Things I've learned from my Boyfriend

Steve got me this shirt....It's my favorite

Here's a closer look. Women always compliment me on this shirt.
In honor of my one year anniversary wiff my Boo, I wanted to impart all the things I've learned over this past year with him....Let's go back in time....actually, more like 10 months ago...*enter '80s dream Harp music*

Before we went on our first date, we text (constantly) and called each other for about a month and a half. Obviously, you get to know someone very well by then so I was aware of his healthy diet and strong fitness background. I was a hot mess. Well, what I thought was healthy really wasn't but of course, I had convinced myself that because I THOUGHT I was healthy it was going to magically matriculate into healthy habits. If that sounds convoluted, it's because IT IS! 

If I can't hear you tell me I'm not healthy, it's not true. FACT. 

Steve planned our entire first date. Our first stop was a small diner that had breakfast food served all day. My effing favorite because who doesn't love pancakes at all hours of the day? The devil. that's who. Anywho, I took a peek at the menu and set my eyes on something I knew was sent from the heaven's above, The Ultimate Platter. It was basically a platter for Champions like myself. It consisted of 2 eggs, sausage, homestyle potatoes, bacon, and a short order of pancakes the size of Shaq's face. Oh yeah....oh shiz, should I pretend to eat healthy here? Nah, it's a date, we're supposed to eat desserts and strawberries and decadent sexy stuff, right? (bacon's sexy. Don't question me.) He asks me what I'm having and I tell him my about my pork dream platter. "The Ultimate sounds pretty good!" Steve assured. When the waiter came around, he took my order and Steve ordered his, "I'll have the steamed salmon with 2 egg whites, 2 bacon and a side of fresh fruit." 

I knew it when I heard it. I was Bamboozled. He did the ol' switcheroo on me. Tryna Ack better than me! Oh Hellz no! All of the sudden I was offended! I thought to myself, 'Why didn't he order what I ordered? Didn't he know that was going to make me feel uncomfortable?' then it hit me. This guy wasn't here to impressed me, he was just going to be himself.      I. was. impressed.    For the first time, I realized I was being insecure and wanted him to validate my bad habits through excuses I thought were socially permissible.    I still had to question just to make sure this wasn't a facade. "Why didn't you order The Ultimate." Steve: "I don't eat that stuff."  *GASP!*     !!SHOCK!     !!AWE!!!!    *A kitten being thrown into bath water!* (I'm trying to paint the drama of the situation)     So, hold up, hold up, hold up...You don't EAT that stuff? That doesn't make sense. That's not even science. We were on a first date. Does that mean nothing to him? Then, another revelation... 'Why the hell would it?! It's a friggin' date, not his last meal.' I knew I would learn a lot from him just on that first date. It's been a year now and I'd like to bestow on you some wisdom that might be your paradigm. 

1) Don't let people around you dictate what you eat. 
This was hard for me to understand. As women, we're naturally nurturing. We want everyone to feel comfortable and not be a bother to anyone. Who wants to be the wet blanket ordering grilled chicken breast with a side of steamed vegetables on a double date? no one. Steve's train of thought "who gives crap what they think, it's my food going into my body!" He is so much right! No one else but me is going to feel the effects of a greasy burger with double cheese and chilli fries. For what? so THEY don't feel uncomfortable eating garbage? That's just their insecurities disguised as common courtesy. 

Not my problem, Bish!

2) You can really eat anywhere. really. 
This was my second trap. Every time we went out, I would argue, "You should pick. You're the one that eats healthy!" and he would always assure me that it was fine, he can really eat anywhere. I wasn't until I noticed that no matter where we went, crappy diner, hole in the wall restaurant, Pork Palace, he would modify a semi decent dish into a healthy meal....ANYWHERE. At first it was like magic, then I caught on. Oh, no cheese. Two sides of veggies, please. Just chicken breast, no sauce. Water, always. No apps, no 'sserts (parks and rec reference for you boring folks.) The modifications weren't outrageous either, it's not like he had the waiter ask the chef if the bean sprouts were Organic and fair trade. So seriously, after a year of eating out A LOT, we haven't found a place where we couldn't eat within our Paleo lifestyle. 

3) Stop being spoiled by food. 
Back when I was a tot, my gangster ass mom would cook different meals every night. Slaving over a hot kitchen making meals from scratch. For some reason, it never occurred to me that I could have "simple dinners" (as Steve referred it to, I called it boring) several times a week...and even at RESTAURANTS! The Horror! Fish and veggies?! at Red Lobster?! NO CHEESE BISCUITS? Why are we even calling ourselves American!? This was mind blowing...until I realized that we weren't paying people for a fine dining experience, we were paying for the convenience of someone making food we were too lazy to make. So many times I feel like I should order what my gut heart yearns for because this is special! I'm out with my boyfriend on a date....until of course, you realize you go out several times a week. Reevaluate what you consider special....just like your mom did with you. HA! jk

4) Push yourself every time you work out.... Hard. from the back. 
There were days I'd go out for a 3 mile jog and come back looking like a fresh daisy, take a shower and be done with my "workout". When Steve works out, if he's not sweating like a Miami hooker on night shift, he's not done with his workout. Since he introduced me to Crossfit, there hasn't been a workout where I didn't sweat through every piece of clothing on me and halfway through a cold shower. If you know you don't have the ability to push yourself like you need to, I strongly suggest Crossfit. Not only do the classes provide you with confidence and excellent training, they teach you to program workouts for yourself when you're not around a box (Crossfit gym). 

Overall, I've learned so much more but these were the ones that really hit it home for me. I'm so grateful for his patience with my subborness, his kindness, and his love. He has never been frustrated with my slow progression or berated me into fitness like so many other guys have tried. He's everything I've ever looked for, not just in a partner but a person. He has made me a better person in a way I never thought was possible. 

Steve, I love you so much. Happy Anniversary. 

Friday, May 24, 2013

OPERATION TiredAsPhuck: An After Action Report

I'd like to start of by saying that I don't even know how I'm awake right now. You know that feeling as your falling asleep when you're in and out of dreaming but you're not sure which state you're in? One minute you're thinking about what you have planned for tomorrow "Let's see I gotta get some groceries, don't forget the foot cream and drop off your mom's birthday present from last month at the post office." then BAM! "You know what, the car is too slow. I'm going to take the flying dragon from Avatar. Everything will be done before I have lunch with Sinbad." That's my life, since last week. Everything was going so well and out of nowhere, I get called up to do a week long work event where have to take the night shift. 10pm to 730am and a full college course load. Driving an hour to and from work and going to school only left me available for naps and snacks. That's right...not even a full nights sleep. Here's how I did it.

1) Sleep was my #1 priority. The magic number of minutes you need to be productive is a 30 minutes. Any less, you will feel MORE tired; any more, you'll end up groggy for hours. No matter how little time I had between work, school and one job interview, I tried to get a nap in. I would hop in some yoga pants, soft tank top, set up the timer on my phone and apologetically take a nap. It's enough time for your brain to rest effectively but not go into a deep sleep where it's hard for your body to bounce back from drowsy-ness. You will pop up out of bed and be good to go for hours. Make sure the room is DARK as possible (wear an eye mask if you have it), get into your most comfortable clothes and indulge in a nap. When I had 4 1/2 hours to sleep, I did the same thing so my body knew what time it was.

If its a meme, it has to be true

2) Eat as Healthy as possible. This was easier than it sounds because of my sleeping habits. I wasn't dying of sleepiness so I didn't have to succumb to eating junk food for energy. Instead of going to fast food places near by or eating at restaurants, I looked for grocery stores. A quick wrap, a premade salad with Deli Turkey slices, apples, Broccoli florets, protein shakes and almonds were a constant source of sustenance while I had Munchies at 4 am. If I was eating out of boredom, I made sure I was mindlessly eating healthy food. Whenever someone offered me junk, I said, "No thank you, I don't eat junk food" Instantly so people know I was 100% about business, 100% of the time. You might think about how hard it is to stay healthy is a stressful situation but think of it this way, of all the times you need to be healthy, this is it! In a situation where it is acceptable to fall apart understandably, you need to be stronger than ever. Just like when someone passes away, everyone would understand if you wanted to lay in bed all day and cry but what you really need to do is be strong and take care of your kids/home/spouse or what have you. I found it in myself to really put things in perspective and maintain control when everything felt like it was falling apart.

These were FREE and available to anyone who wanted them...all of them were "share" size. Why is the world cruel?

3) Eat as little Carbs as possible. Like I said before, eating healthy is important but the type of healthy food was important to my sugar levels. I refrained from brown rice, the tortilla part of a wrap, and anything remotely starchy. My sugar levels never dipped or sky-rocketed...couple that with good sleep and I was never starving for anything. Did you know that if you're sleepy, your body craves carbs for that immediate sugar high of energy? Well, the vicious cycle is that you come down quickly as well and it starts over again...I wasn't going to let myself be the hamster in that circle.

4) Limit the Caffeine. I know, it sounds sacrilegious but I would only have one source of caffeine in the "morning" (10 pm) and the rest of the time I felt tired, I would either eat or nap. My concept for these shenanigans is that I needed to sleep better than I needed to stay awake. Make sense? When I needed to nap, I really needed to be able to do it at the drop of a hat. And boy did I ever! As soon as my noggin hit that cool pillow, I was out... like a tits in a low cut tank. no wait, not the right expression but you need to understand how imperative it was to get sleep in when I had the time to do it. Otherwise, I would probably be laying in bed wide awake, and end up drooling in class.

5) Work out even a little bit. I didn't have time to go to crossfit but I did have time to workout at home. Some days it was a full WOD other days? maybe 50 air squats. Was it beneficial? I don't know. Maybe. But the fact is, I didn't want to lose the habit. Maintaining that habit will help you through a myriad of problems. It lets your brain and body know that you're NOT going to let a schedule change affect your workout habits. Even with all the VALID excuses I had, they were still excuses and I didn't want it to roll into an avalanche of excuses over time. The benefit was that I got better sleep, more energy, and I even felt the nice sting of soreness which is an excellent reminder of accomplishment.

6) Be Nice! When I had the chance to be kind, I was. It wasn't just a stressful time for me but for everyone I worked with and everyone had their own demons to battle while they were exhausted and frustrated. If I could offer some comic relief, I would try to be chipper and crack a few jokes to break the tension. This also helped out when I needed to leave early to go to class or people would cut me a break when I needed to come in a few minutes late. At home, my wonderful BF made sure to make me meals when he was around or take care of my dog when I was running around switching my out of work clothes, yoga pants back into regular clothes twice a day. He also had my apartment cleaned up, stocked the fridge and kept the dog quiet while I napped. I'm not sure if it was because I didn't bitch about every single miserable moment of my day but I'm sure it helped. He's also just kind of amazing all on his there's that. Regardless of how you're feeling, you're not going to get ahead by being an A$$hole. That I know for sure.

7) Being Grateful. When you feel like you never have enough time, food or sleep, it's easy to forget all your blessings. When things were getting out of control, I took about 5-10 mins to think about all the good things I had going on. I was getting paid GOOD money to go to work. I had the finances and opportunity to buy and eat healthy food. I had a nice comfortable bed to sleep in when I needed it. My car got me to and from work  quickly and efficiently. My professors were really funny and made me enjoy the class (even Organic Chemistry...someone give that guy a medal). My boyfriend was extremely supportive and all around incredible. It made everything else seem insignificant and lightened my mood which in turn made all of these rules a lot more manageable.

Now it's all over, I think I broke a personal sleep record of 12 hours and I haven't gained a single pound! Matter of fact, I think I can see more of my abs and lost the fat above my belly button. I would take a picture but I'm stinking tired and I still have that lunch date with Sinbad.......

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Str8 Flexin'

I was surfing my favorite fitblr accounts today, most consisting of healthy eating habits and really hot chicks with bad ass muscle definition. Then I was thinking about how unrealistic it is for someone, especially a woman to be ripped ALL THE TIME. It's possible, but not likely on most women. I have a few friends who compete in bodybuilding. They work out like beasts for 2-3 hours a day, 6 days a week and basically eat chicken, yams and spinach for every single meal. They are straight jacked on stage. There's no other way to put it. When they are in regular clothes, other than shapely legs and defined arms, they look normal. You can't see their abs through their shirt and they aren't ripping off their pants like NBA players in the playoffs. The truth is, just like fashion magazines, fitness magazines are filled with unrealistic standards. I used to cut out my favorite fitness models and post them up in my kitchen cabinets for motivation, unknowing that these models themselves didn't look like THAT all year round either. They are PAID to look like that. I remember taking down those cutouts when one of my favorite fitness models address the topic in an interview and basically laid it out there for everyone to know that most fitness models go through "seasons" where a magazine with book them for the "AB" issue and she would have to eat extra clean and work her abs more often. The magazine basically paid for a look and then add whatever they want to the cover to lure you in..."Lose 10 pounds by Friday!" "Best exercise regime for a six pack"...all enticing you to think if you read those articles, you'll look like that model.

The point is, I don't want that to be me. Obviously, I'm not saying I'm no where near looking like a fitness model but I want to be completely honest in my gains and losses. If I get more muscle, I want to show it and if I gain some weight, you're also going to see those and not even in my best light. It's a torturous feeling to look at someone's progress and wonder why you're the only one going through ups and downs but not knowing that the picture you're looking at is #75 of the day in the best light. It's not right nor is it motivating and that's not what I want this blog to be able. It's honest, everyday health and fitness.

So without further ado, here are some progress pictures of me this morning.

Not too shabby, huh? Well, I'm flexing and this was like my twelfth photo before my abs told me I could go Eff myself.  

Ok, now here's the one of me just standing a lazy no good bum. 

Don't get me wrong, I really like the way I look when I'm not flexing. But the fact is, I don't get very defined anything when I'm just relaxing. It's very possible to get there but those aren't my goals right now. I would have to lose about 7-10 pounds and that's just not what this gangster wants to look like at this moment. I'll post my goals (and why they are goals) some time in the future. 

For now, quit looking at pictures and thinking that silly little tricks in your diet (like NOT getting fries with your burger) are going to get you those rock hard abs or a thinking you're going to look like Gwen Stefani once you've dropped all that weight. You're not. You're going to look like a better version of yourself and you're going to love it. 

Now for the day's events where I scarfed down a bunch of food items in my gullet and almost ripped off my hand calluses. 

Paleo Pancakes from Paleocupboard with honey
2 scrambled eggs

Strawberry banana smoothie

Raw bar made with coconuts, almonds, dates, dark chocolate and something else, can't remember (all organic...that's what matters right?!)

Rotisserie chicken spinach salad with grilled veggies and Fresh Guac
Chai Tea wiff honey
"diet food"


20 Back squats @ 105#'s
25 burpees (why aren't these called suicides?)
30 Toes to Bar
25 burpees (this is when I really thought I was trying to kill myself)
20 Back squat @ 105#'s

then lay on the floor, dead, until your spirit decides it's okay to enter back into your worthless body. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

WOD and Meals


As Many Rounds As Possible (AMRAP) in 20 mins

5 Handstand Pushups
10 Pistol Squats
15 Pullups

I got 7 rounds and 18 reps....barely because I lost my grip on my last Handstand push up and almost busted my face to which I could only imagine would look like this....

"Yeah, I RX'd. It wasn't nothin' but a chicken wing on a string.."

Mango/Papaya Smoothie made with Almond milk, Spirulina, Cod liver oil with DHA,Vanilla Protein Powder and Ice. (sounds gross but tastes like mango creamsicle.

Mid-morning Meal:
2 Eggs and 2 bacon slices

Blueberry Vanilla Raw bar

handful of almonds

Spicy Chicken with Green beans and Guacamole
Raspberry Green Tea (Hot) with Honey

Beats out greasy take out food any day

Sunday, May 12, 2013

WOD and Meals

I'm going to try to post my Work Out of the Day and Meals. This is going to help me gauge where I need improvement to achieve my goals, get me in the habit of posting more often and hopefully give you ideas on health and fitness. I do promise that I will be honest!

Paleo Granola with Vanilla Almond milk (recipe found here: Granola Recipe)
Coffee with Coconut creamer and Stevia

Leftover Paleo "fried rice" (right cheer: Cauliflower fried Rice)

Southwest Chipotle Fish tacos with Coconut flour tortillas (Heaven Sent Paleo Tortillas)
Pico de Gallo

Don't be deceived. I had two of them before I realized I should take a picture....

Fruit salad with mint
Chai Tea
Mint settles the stomach and gets rid of your ratchet breaf!


Find 3 rep max on bench press (ended up at 85#'s...ugh, 10#'s less than my PR)

For time:
500m Row
30 bench press @ 65#
1000m Row
20 bench press
2000m Row
10 bench press

Saturday, May 11, 2013

How to eat healthy while traveling

I just came back from a week long stay in California to visit my mother. I had a layover flight in Memphis, TN, then it was straight to LAX. Everything was all good and well as I had prepared beforehand with a little trip to the grocery store where I bought Larabars and brought my own reusable water bottle. I ended up eating the Larabar ON THE WAY TO THE AIRPORT so in Memphis, a Tuna salad on wilted butter lettuce had to do ($3.99...not bad for airport prices). Feeling all accomplished and victorious from my last unprepared (or deviated) action plan, I figured LAX would have even better options because us Californians are all vain and always hopping onto any food that will allow us to fit into the latest fashion trend. I stopped at The Lemonade Stand that boasted fresh fruit and egg white Chorizo Quiches! I added a coffee to that....$17.99. You know how many bags of Almond flour I could buy with that!??!?! TWO! Yeah...this is the only time I've regretted being insistent on eating Paleo. That's what I get for NOT preparing for traveling and food. There is a list I thought of as I savored every bit of my $18 breakfast.

  • An Apple with a Justin's Almond Butter (sample size sold in peanut butter section individually..perfect for travel)
  • Banana with raw almonds in a snack size bag
  • a Larabar
  • Homemade Larabar! (check out for simple delicious variety!)
  • Paleo Banana Muffins ( excellent with hot coffee on an early flight! Gives you that comfort food you crave.
  • Rolled up Turkey slices with some mustard in the middle...maybe even a pickle because IDGAF about bad breath on a flight. It keeps the weirdos at a comfortable distance.
  • Fruit Salad with a few mint leaves sprinkled in (just in case you do care about your breath, this is sweet and very refreshing...even slightly warm!)
  • Cucumber slices with Lime and salt (a little hot sauce gives it that I'm-really-eating-a-decent-meal feeling)
  • Hard Boiled eggs
  • A snack size bag of Protein Powder to be mixed in with a water bottle
  • Homemade Sweet Potato Chips with Guacamole (travel size guac can be found in the deli isle of the grocery store. The chips can be found in the fruit isle as well but check the label...per usual)
  • Make Pumpkin Paleo pancakes the night before and bring them in a plastic bag. spread some almond butter on the living hell out of them in front of someone eating a greasy overpriced sandwich
  • Chopped up Oranges and apples with lime juice all over them...I put hot sauce on that sucker too because I'm Mexican and I can't taste things unless it's burned into my tongue.
  • Mango know the drill...lime and hot sauce. Or lime and honey! (wuss)
  • Blueberries or cantaloupe/melon slices with prosciutto 
  • Brazil nuts with a peach (preferably sliced up)
  • Be Kind Bar
  • Beef Jerky or a less greasy version - Turkey Jerky
  • Jicama with watermelon with lime juice ESPECIALLY on hot trips! So refreshing, crunchy and overall mouthwatering. 
  • Low Carb Tortillas with hummus and turkey rolled up
  • Cucumber with cilantro jalapeno hummus (so that it's not so plain)
  • Any fruit with a babybel Cheese or even try goat cheese for a creamier more decadent taste
  • Snack size bag of pretzels with laughing cow cheese
  • spiced chickpeas
  • Salted soynuts--They make wasabi soynuts but they were too hot for me've been hereby warned!
  • Low carb tortilla with refried beans...super Mexican but if you're traveling to Cali or Texas you will probably blend in pretty well and make new friends. Oh, it's also high in protein and fiber so yeah, there's that.
You might say I missed a few ideas but really, I was trying to avoid anything I wouldn't eat warm (have you ever tried to eat warm yogurt? Ew, dude. Get that out of my face faster than ASAP!), anything that crumbles, anything that drips or needs napkins, all things super high calorie (read: granola), all things that make your hands sticky because the airport or riding in a car with sticky hands makes me feel like I'm a fresh fly trap except for germs. A disgusting Germ Trap. 

Alright, lets say you decided to ignore all of my snack ideas and you love throwing up cash money at airport terminals as if you're a high roller at a Vegas Strip club. Here are some tips from a former (as of this last trip) high roller:
  • You're going to spend money...lots of it. Might as well be healthy right? Go for the chicken salads sans cheese and creamy dressing. There are plenty of healthy spots sprouting up at airport terminals, look for them and find broth based soups or high veggie sandwiches.
  • Magazine stores always have small snack items. Go for Larabars, BeKind bars, those drinks with a fruit veggie combo, or a small package of raw almonds.
  • Starbucks has new Protein Snack boxes. They look pretty legit. Pair that up with hot coffee. (regular coffee. I know you think you're on vacation but really, you're on the WAY to your vacation. Cut the foo-foo crap out until you get to your destination. Save the extra money for that tequilla shot you'll be taking off a hot cabana boy in Cancun.)
  • At Smootie king, they have a smoothie called a Pep Up. It's a protein, caffeine laden fruit smoothie that tastes amazing and fills you up...go for it. For $5? You should definitely try it. 
  • If all else fails, just think Meat and Veggies. Really stick to it. You have your entire vacation to eat crap food, don't start at the airport. 
This is my list so far, I'll be updating with other ideas as they come to me. I hope it helps out and that you stay healthy even though you have a strange urge to binge eat junk food during long trips (is that just me?). One last thing...Bring a reusable water bottle. Make sure it's empty when you pass the TSA but you can fill it up at the water fountain. It's cheap, reminds you to stay hydrated and acts as an appetite suppressant. Bon Voyage, B!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Big Booty Bish

If there's anything you need to know about me is that I'm ALWAYS busy but if you ask me, "Hey dude, what are you up to?" 99.9% of the time, I'll say "eh, nothing." Let me give you a quick peep into my recent schedule: I work 9 hours a day at an office 30 mins away from my apartment. I am taking two classes, Calculus 3 times a week at lunch time at a community college near my office, and Social Psychology at University of North Florida about an hour from my office every Thursday (3 hour class). I also attend crossfit classes twice a week and lift/run on my own every other time. Finally, I insist on cooking dinner every single night....and as my boyfriend just pointed out, I never repeat a meal (that will stop soon! I blame pinterest!). In between all that, I have to study and spend time with my dog and boyfriend in which I INSIST on making it into an event, which turns into this shiz....
There's Murphy wondering WTF is going on....
When I get time to even think, I'm always dreaming of the day that I won't have school or a job where I sit down for an insane amount of time. Well, that finally happened this week! I finally finished my full time commitment at work and it was finals week. So what the hell do I do? I freak out and jam pack my schedule with funtivities. 

Just today, I cashed in my Aerial Fitness Groupon at Bittersweet studios! It's such a beautiful set up. The first ting I said was, "I'm so excited to be here! I need something a little relaxing." The instructor shot back, "Um, this is actually pretty intense. Most people don't come back." Me: "It's alright, I crossfit." Then she smirked. Let me tell you, this shiz is hard! all upper body strength! The WORST part? You have to be GRACEFUL and ELEGANT! Whhaaaaaaat!?!? I thought they did away with those shinanagans when clear, light-up heels became a thing in the 70s. My instructor, a swan in my perspective, was kind enough to not call me out when I ended up looking like a crackhead trying to do ballet in midair. You want proof?! Here's your proof!!!!

She kept saying, "Yes, but more graceful! Make it look effortless!"

I said, "Like this...?"
God Bless her. She tried and I failed her. Oh well, I'll be back soon, disappointing her with my lack of being a lady. Afterwards, I went Joann's to get some fabric because I had an awesome coupon and for some reason I woke up (conveniently @ 5:30 a.m.) with an idea for a Maxi dress that didn't seem too hard. It turned out like this...
Crossback Maxi Dress...took me an 2 hours!

Then I noticed MY FRIGGIN' BUTT! Or lack there of! It's so....flat. Everything else on my body I'm very happy with and yet for some reason, I never noticed my money maker wasn't makin' money! Know what I'm sayin'!?!?  Ugh...

So, here's my plan of action...For the next Month, I'm going to really focus on the glutes. Twice a week, I will be on the stairmaster for 30-45 mins.

For weights (if you didn't know, you NEED to lift weights to get that bubble butt effect. now you know!)

15 Deadlifts @ 130 lbs
20 donkey kicks each side
20 bridges
20 squats @ 65 lbs
10 side lunges

Then do it AGAIN! (said in a German voice)

So, here's my before pic...
There WILL be an after pic! 

Now, I'm off to make paleo peppermint patties and new curtains for my bedroom! I can't wait til school starts....

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Are you new here? (Fitness Newbie)

The very first time I walked into a gym, I felt as I was walking into a Sorority/ Frat House. Everyone was sweating, grunting, running, lifting and all super focused. I just kept waiting for someone to turn to me and say "Are you new here?" and then subsequently tell me to GTFO. Didn't happen. Everyone just kept on doing their thing and I hopped onto a treadmill because it looked pretty easy. Well, just starting the stupid thing, was a hassle. I hit the button that had some kind of program and it started in on me: "What is your weight?" I lied, 130 pounds. "What is your height?" I lied, 5'7" (don't ask me why I lied about that, it's something I've been doing since high school...) "What level to start?" GEEZ! Am I going on a run or am I on a friggin' date with this thing? 52,343 questions later, the treadmill started at a 18 minute mile. Pretty sure I took two naps before I got to a mile but once I did, I hopped off and went home...not returning to the gym for a LONG time. 

Getting into fitness is such an ordeal. You feel like everyone knows something you don't and that's completely frustrating. Also, when you say you want to start, all the sudden everyone's a coach...even the fat guy who works across from you wants to give you his crappy advice, "You going on a mile run? You should Carbo-load and eat lots of spaghetti with a loaf of bread." Next thing you know, before you get your running shoes on, all that Alfredo and Olive Garden breadsticks are doing their work on you and you're fast asleep only to wake up bloated and, yeah, that's just a story I made up...never happened..nope.

Fitness doesn't have to be scary or even worse, dreadful. A mistake I see a lot of people make is that use fitness just to lose weight. That's the wrong idea. Think about this for a second...what happens when you finally lose those 10 pounds? Your goal is checked and you move on to other things in life like finally going back to college or finding a husband to mooch off of...either or right?!

Here is what you need to drill in your head. First: Fitness is about making your body strong and healthy. I know that doesn't sound great now but really, when you start being able to open your own peanut butter jars and lifting that couch off the floor to look for your missing hair clip, it's an incredible feeling. It's such a domino effect that your quality of life is dramatically improved just by keeping your body in motion. Losing weight is just a side benefit, just like better sleep and more focus will be when you are consistent at it. Secondly, fitness should be fun! You should ENJOY working out! I know, sacrilegious right? Well, cheer up buttercup because I'm going to show you different types of fitness workouts that you're bound to fall in love with one or a few! 

Because you're a fitness virgin, you need to be guided through a workout. This is EXTREMELY important! You don't want to start something and get hurt because you can get yourself into some serious, life long damage. My best advice is to start with a class of some sort. Each of the following are classes based on your  attitude:

Are you the type who doesn't like a lot of commotion? You don't want to start weights and you aren't feeling like running is your thing. You're into something peaceful and looking for flexibility along with strength.

Try Yoga!
Don't underestimate how good yoga can be for your health. It is for EVERYONE! Flexibility is extremely important for strength movements as well as daily movements. There are so many types of yoga but here are just a couple that I like:
Bikram Yoga (Hot Yoga)
This type of yoga is done in a class where the heat is turned up!

Aerial Yoga 
They suspend long sheaths of fabric from the ceiling and you workout yoga moves in mid air!

Let's say you're more energetic, you like going to clubs or being in a high tempo type of environment. 

Try Zumba
These people always look like they are having fun and they are! It's basically a dance class with tons of loud music and moves to help you build coordination and relieve stress levels!

Let's say you're not a club type either...
This me busted from a club fight in '09. I wasn't even drinking...or fighting for that matter. 8 stitches is all it took for me to never return...

Anyway! You want the loud music minus the drama  dance moves...try spinning!

Please visit the website for full details. It's such a great information source that I'd hate to mess it up in my own words.  Spinning always kicks my bum and you'll have such great legs, Tina Turner will hate on you.

If you're wanting to feel powerful and gain self-confidence (along with a great bum and a strong core)

Roundhouse kick that laziness right in the chops! KA-POW!

When you need someone to put the pressure on you and motivate you with lots of body weight exercises....

Boot Camp. Do all the things I never did in actual boot camp...

...And I was probably a lot worse off in Basic Training because of it.  Such a great way to build strength and endurance. On the Mayo Clinic website, it states:
"One boot cam workout might stress calisthenics while another stresses military-style drills.  Some even incorporate martial arts moves. In pretty much all cases, however, you can expect to do calisthenics, such as pullups, pushups, lunges and crunches, as well as drills and sprints.  In essence, a boot camp workout is a type of interval training - bursts of intense activity alternated with intervals of lighter activity."
Or what if you just want to be a bad ass? What if you wanted to excel at life and finally achieve all of your goals and dreams?  

 Then it sounds like you're ready for Crossfit. 
That's Andrea Ager...killing a muscle it.

This is Christmas Abbott. My woman crush and also the picture that got me into Crossfit.

And finally, this is a little old lady showing you up!  BOOM!

Okay, so I'm a little biased towards crossfit because it's what I'm in love with. How does one describe crossfit? I don't know!? How does one describe a beautiful sunset on a tropical island to a man who's been blind all of his life? WHO KNOWS?
But I guess to put it in short, this is crossfit:


A great way to look for any of these classes is to first check your local gym or look in your community to find any of these classes. Your advantage is that you have a trainer guiding you and because you're new, they usually offer discount prices on packages. Some even offer FREE intro classes! and always offer incredible deals for practically more than 50% off the original costs on fitness classes! 

Whatever speaks to you, just go for it. Try it out. Have fun and build yourself from the inside out. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Meal Prep Intro

I'm tired of people saying eating healthy is expensive. Eating in general in expensive. You know what's more expensive? Eating out everyday with a $2 drink and a $7 crappitizer and whatever cheese-covered entree you ordered. Then realizing you have to eat healthy because you are muffin-topping those new jeans you just bought; buying a bunch of healthy food (that's going to wilt before you get to it) with whatever knew diet pill is going to REALLY do it for you because it was really expensive and that's your incentive to take one daily and REALLY sick to it! which ultimately leads to you eating like crap a week later and a lot less money. That's freaken expensive!

So, yes, there are ways for crappy eating to be cheaper (thank you Dollar Menu for lowering the standards and raising the obesity rate!) but I'm to show you how a little planning can save you a LOT of money overall.   

Once a week, I sit down and write out a weeks to two weeks worth of meals that I plan to make. 

Week One

Week Two

Now, here's the thing, it looks like I only have dinners prepared for each day but really, I ALWAYS make enough dinner to have left overs the next day so really, I have lunch and dinner for each day.  I get the recipes from my Pinterest food board and then add the website just in case I don't want to scroll through 23,824,738 pins from last week. 

For breakfast, I'm a routine kind of girl. It's usually coffee til 8 then a fruit/spinach smoothie until lunch. Sometimes, I'll make an egg pie that's easy to grab when I'm running late and it lasts me a few days and also, counts as a midday snack. Such a great way to eat healthy when you turn into a hungry psycho-path around two in the afternoon. This way you're not making excuses about how you should probably eat that fresh doughnut Sally just brought in the office because she's new and wants to make new friends but really, she just wants you to be fat. Don't let Sally win! That's the name of the game. 

Snacks include fruit and almonds. Othertimes, you want something close to a meal but not meal worthy. This is where I turn to shaved turkey and dijon mustard. It's very fulfilling especially with a granny smith apple and a liter of water. 

Once you're done making your plan, list all the ingredients you need (as in, you don't have it in your house not the whole ingredient list) and head to the store for your purchases. 
This is only my second week list and It'll cost me less than a  restaurant meal
I only shop for the week even though I have two weeks planned because of freezer space and as we all know, some veggies just don't last more than a few days, never mind two weeks.  

I know of a lot of people that do food prep for the week in one day but I actually want to enjoy my weekends and the thought of making multiple meals in one day sounds like a nightmare in this sticky Florida heat! Plus, I can watch Mad Men guilt free if I'm cooking a meal every night...can we bring back everyday cooking? That's a lost art. 

Also, cooking doesn't have to be a huge ordeal. I have a couple nights a week where I say "Simple Dinner" which is just a seasoned meat and a veggie side. Simple but NOT boring. I started noticing that I was extremely spoiled in my food options. If it didn't have some kind of delicacy in it, I didn't find it appealing. So just a tip, if you find yourself turning your nose up at blackened fish and broccoli, shame on you, you snobby little brat! no, I'm kidding. Just be grateful that you have food to eat AND since it's simple, you have more time to enjoy your life somewhere other than the kitchen. 

Prepping your food is a cheap and simple way to keep yourself in check and it lessens the chance of eating out and spending more money on convenient food. I hope this helps with your budget and sticking with a better diet. Try it out for a week and see how it goes. I know this post wasn't all that funny so I leave you with this....

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Are you Paleo?

The first time I heard the adage "Abs are made in the kitchen", I wanted to die. Just kill me, please. I knew I was doomed to being pudgy because everything that's cool and worth living for revolves around eating. Summer time barbecues,  Dinner with friends, getting promoted, birthday parties are just a few examples of how the type of food makes the event. You could have  walked around that barbecue with a huge hole in your pants lookin' like a fool but nobody cares because DAMN those ribs were on POINT! 

I've tended to stay away from diets and regulate my weight by eating LESS crap food...which I'm bad at. Who doesn't love junk food? Actually, my father hates junk food. He says it tastes like plastic. But unfortunately for me, I inherited his nose and not his taste buds. As I've said before, any type of diet where I have to live off lettuce leaves for the first ridiculous phase and lighten up to Lettuce leaves and lemon juice the next is just not going to happen with me, okay? I live in the real world with real world problems! The person who invented those types of diets lives on a friggin lettuce farm with one stinking lemon tree...and hates puppies, I’m sure of it... just trust me on this one.

So fast forward me in May of 2012 when I started Crossfit (I'll get into my love affair with Crossfit later) which stands by The Paleo Diet as their nutritional foundation. I'd heard of it and subsequently wanted nothing to do with it. After incredible results of consistent Crossfit, I figured, 'Hmmm. Wonder how good it would be to couple exercise with the Paleo diet.' Well, as soon as they said "no bread" I bowed out...not even gracefully. It was more like a clumsy somersault out. You can shut that noise down because I don't want to hear it. Although, I did want to start eating better so I decided to cut out candy…
Slowly but surely, I kept edging my diet to healthier habits but didn’t exactly know what guidelines I should be following. All I knew is that it had to be simple. Someone had mentioned that in the Paleo Diet, you don't count calories because it's quality food. Out of curiosity, I looked into the Paleo Diet again. I kept running into this guide…

When I looked back at my diet, it could easily be modified to fit these standards. Eating out was scary because I didn’t know the guidelines by heart so my mental checklist pretty much went like this: Is it Meat? Is it a vegetable? If it passed those two guidelines, I was good to go. Instead of a bunch of Chicken Salads, it was more like Steak and broccoli.

Needing to find a way to make it easier at home, I headed to my beloved Pinterest. I. WAS. HOOKED. It was Paleo galore. Recipes that looked better than the garbage I was eating before. I couldn’t wait to cook them all. Heck, most of the time, it really did taste better. Now, I can't get enough. I still struggle with portion control but honestly, it hasn't really affected my weight...
This is after a week of not paying attention to portion control
To me, this way of eating has been a blessing. It fits me perfectly and I'm completely content with cutting out foods I used to regularly consume. A Mexican on a No-bean diet?! IT'S SACRILEGIOUS I TELL YOU! No, I'm kidding but I urge you to try something that fits your lifestyle. You'd be surprised what you're willing to give up when you know how to cook amazing healthy food. 

If you'd like to give it a try, here are my FAVORITE websites to the best Paleo recipes:

Even if you aren't looking to change your diet just yet, I urge you to try a recipe from any of these sites. You'll find  it very satisfying to not only make something delicious but know that you're doing your body a favor ;)

Let me know if you do try a recipe. I'd love to hear your thoughts!